July 20

Reflections Of A Sober Chicken Thief published by Nothing Changes Press

July 20

” I’m done with this game.” – me 

” Game? That’s Bullshit. When I ask you it’s a game…but when you ask me? Who the hell are you? I need…ok, don’t make me feel like shit because you are an asshole…I” did for “you…a lot more than you did for me…Mr. Soberiety…we are dead in each other’s eyes.” -a former friend

“Some folks are too smart to get sober.”- 12 Step truism 

Thought For The Day:  I’ve met some of those folks that ‘think’ they’re too smart for recovery. 

I’m not one of those people. 

Hell, it took me thirty years to tell this guy “No.”

Reflection Of The Day: The first three letters of sobriety and “Soberiety” are S-O-B. 

Meditation Of The Day: If two people decide they are “dead in each others eyes,” which one is Bruce Willis? Which one the kid?

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Settin’ Limits

My buddy calls most week day afternoons.

I always say, “Hey, man, how’s it goin’?”

And he says, “Simply marvelous.”

Today he also said, “I see by your Facebook that you had a busy week-end. A lot of gigs. That’s good, eh?”

And I said, “Yeah, it was alright.”

“Just alright? You made some money didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s all gone.”

“Where’d it go.”

“Payin’ bills.”

“Oh, I see. Paying bills. And, if you didn’t have the money, how would those bills get paid?”

“They wouldn’t get paid.”

“That’s right.”

“That’s right,. They wouldn’t get paid and I’d be feelin’ the same way I’m feelin’ now. Not good nor bad. Not happy nor excited.”

It’s usually kinda funny, my buddy ridin’ me bout my attitude, but I wasn’t in the mood.

So I just shut up and listened to him tell me how no one likes to pay bills but it’s still good to pay them.

But I didn’t stay shut up. I finally said, “Yeah, but when you complain to me about your bills, your medical bills since your insurance changed, I don’t bust your chops. I commiserate.”

He said, “Yeah, you’re right.” And he changed his tone.

But I wasn’t goin’ for it. Like I said, I wasn’t in the mood.

So, before he hung up, he said, “I noticed on your Facebook post that you thanked a lot of people.”

“Yeah?”

“But I saw no mention of Randy Bri….”

“Don’t go there, man. I’m not ever gonna say a word bout Randy or Jack to you again. Never again.”

He laughed and said, “Tell CJ I said hello when you see her.”

“I will.”

“Have the best day possible. Go forth and inspire others with your positive outlook on life and other important matters.”

“You, too, buddy. Thanks for callin’.”

Goin’ To The Beach?

The other day, I walked into a meeting and my first “recovery” girlfriend was sittin’ at the table.

She smiled and waved at me.

I waved back.

Now, I hadn’t seen her in 30 years

But she didn’t look good.

Not that she’d been drinkin’.

She was sober but…her face was blotched and

puffy and she had put on weight…a starchy, flabby kind

of gain I found surprisin’ coz, when I knew her,

when she was my girlfriend, she

was preoccupied with her “looks.”

And she was pretty in a wholesome, midwest farmer’s daughter kinda way.

The old-timers around the clubhouse were crazy for her and, when it was obvious to them that she was interested in me, they, to a man, said, “That’s a good lookin’ woman, son. Don’t know what she sees in you but you better get a little bitta that while you can. Won’t get this chance again.”

Well, I wasn’t lookin’ for a bitta that. I wanted love. But I thought, “Maybe they’re right. Maybe she does likes me. And she is a fox. And the old guys approve.”

So, when she called, I answered.

And, yeah, I gotta a little bitta that.

And she said, “You just might be The One.”

And, for three months, she cooed and kissed and encouraged me to “improve.”

And I cut my hair, bought new clothes and learned how to order from a menu.

Then, early on in the romance, we went to the beach.

And, after we picked the right spot in the sand to spread our towels, she lay down,

turned over on her stomach and

had me rub lotion on her back.

She rested her cheek on her forearm and

I thought my ministrations had put her to sleep till

she started to chuckle.

“All these people,” she said. “They’re funny.

And they’re gross.

And they’re ugly.

Thank God I’m not like them.”

I knew then I didn’t love her.

I always knew she didn’t love me.

Durin’ one of our last arguments she said,

“You were just an experiment.

I don’t have to love a guy to fuck him.

They’re like kleenex to me. They’re like tissue and

I throw them out the window

when I’m done.”

Fifteen months later,

She wasn’t done with me yet so

I walked out the door.

Then, I walked into the

Clubhouse and there she was, the

spittin’ image of the folks she laughed at

all those years ago, wavin’ at me like we were

friends so, after the meetin’, when she walked up

to hug me, I reached into my pocket and

handed her a

kleenex

and

asked…

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I had been posting as “The Sober Chicken Thief”on a private FaceBook Page for the past 4 months. Then, I engaged in a pissin’ contest with a “newcomer”member of that same private group. It involved a couple of posts, a phone call by me to him and, as a result of the squabble, I’ve stopped the chicken thief posts.

Now, I miss writing them. And I miss posting them and, since I’ve been using Word Press to blog under another name for over a year, I decided to give “Reflections” its very own blog site.

I’ve been attending 12 Step Recovery Groups for over 4 decades and I’ve been alcohol/drug free since 1977. I believe in Recovery. I believe in the 12 Step Steps. I’ve experienced all the great benefits of working this “Program” and I’d recommend “meetings” to anyone with an “addiction” problem.

As a member of this community, I’ve had to humble myself, I’ve had to become “spiritual” and I’ve had to learn to laugh.

I’ve had to learn to laugh at myself. I’ve had to learn how to lighten up. I’ve had to learn how to “relax and take it easy.”

I’ve had to learn how to be myself.

I’m not sayin’ I’m all Sober Chicken Thief.

I’m sayin’ Sober Chicken Thief is a part of what I am. Albeit a small part that, at times, can be damn interesting.

And It is my hope this blog makes things damn interesting for all of us.